Tag Archives: Poetry

dusk

this is the middle of the hero’s tale
the long walk through the desert
where there is no triumph
just windmills
and a forced forgetfulness
that only gradually fades
like a hot day cooling
into the soft down of forgiveness

in the broad view,
the one she likes to take
there is nothing to escape
its all just a small part of the endless
chasing and loving and running
around in circles
broken hearts littering
the ground
in messy webs of desire
an interlacing of he loves her loves him

but then her mind slips away
and there it is again,
the close-up,
the dredged memory
of his arms
stuck at his sides
as she pressed her lips
over his dead ones

she read somewhere
that you should breath
in the pain–not just hers,
but all who had suffered similar fates
a deep inhale of united hurt

she tries it
and finds a balance
in the up and down
of her rising chest
her answer
no more
and no less
than each next breath

at some point
the sun drops low enough
that she can look up into the sky
and see the stars winking

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Breaking a Spell

the empty room yawns,
and sucks this moment in
to its belly, an oceanic pulse
that booms below
that gives nothing to hold

i am washed

up and returned
to the immovable space between
these watchtower walls
followed by the echoes of
yesterday’s clattering sounds

the silence chases me and i
am chasing something i
already have, impossible like
explaining the color blue
painted on these walls
impossible like forgetting
i am here when
i don’t even know
where i am

the quiet muffles everything

and yet these words
form themselves
out of nothing
and they stretch
the silence taut
like a bubble blown
as big as the world
as the moon
as my heart
until it all explodes
and the cool night air
rushes in, sharp and clear

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And here she is, All Around You, Now

This is how you speak to me

In the wind pushing
Gusts of garbage
Against my legs

In the nurse yelling
At her boyfriend
On the street
Like she always does

In the sad opening
Of my heart
As I hurry to a home
That is not mine

The discarded beer bottle
Nameless, resonates
With as much weight
As the majestic tree
I offer my life to them both

As the light fades
I find myself alone
As I have always been
Calling my own name

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I Knew You When

I knew you when
The air was still
When Red met Purple
When the glow of the sun
Melted comfortably
Into the dusk of the night
When you were your fullest self
And you let me love you
The way a bird accepts the breeze

Now we meet again
My battered friend
I try and tell you that
Your arm is gone
But you are unperturbed
Or maybe just unaware
That the last time I saw you
You had wings
God damn wings

I catch myself confusing you
with who I know you to be
I yell at you.

Because you can’t fly
Because you don’t remember me
Because my leg is gone
Because I too am bound

I remind myself that
There is a reason why
You have one arm
And I have a limp
We have chosen these wounds
To walk this ground
And meet ourselves again

So I will keep my memories
In the bright space
Behind my eyes
Where you can find them
Where they flash
Like a Brilliant stone
Catching the light

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i took today as my lover
when i woke up
it was in bed with me,
warm from a good sleep
patiently waiting
for me
to open my eyes.
today i am alive
today i am soft
today i am vibrant
Today
i surrender to you
in an animal stretch
i let the thrill
of your promise
run through me
like a soft kiss planted
on the back of my neck
like a gentle invitation
to take your hand
and allow you
to show me the world

waking up

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expression

i break my heart open
like an egg
against the rim of this page
let it flow through these lines
with its thick, veiny ropes of blood
and its rivers of salt tears
and its bright bursting gratitude

i pour out
my unbearable lightness
release
my aching delight
so that they may BE.
fully formed
until i say
yes, yes, yes
it is finally expressed
and I invite you in
to let your warm, bare heart touch mine.

and then, softly, i blow it all away,
until the page is clean and white again,
as if this was not just written,
as if this did not just take place,
except that now
the silence contains everything
that ever need be said
and we are still here
and there is nothing between us.

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migration

the single moments pass unnoticed
until one catches in a bright light
through the windshield and morning traffic
the rainbow in the sky
the creaky walk to the midday bathroom break
the soft fall of night with tea and these words
finally released to the page.

like oliver’s wild geese
i chase these moments
as they flap
strong-armed
through my day and out the other side

i stand silently in their wake
torn by their inevitable passing
too mesmerized by their migratory spell
to see that even the dull ache
of my office chair
has wild goose magic

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still moments

we meet at half past six
at the old lunch restaurant
that has since been redone
we hit our usual notes
the job (hunting),
the boy (wanting),
our dreams (being dreamed),
until we our current again

in the still moments
our hands reach out
to grab the cool glass
and i am glad for you

this is all.

table
talk
drink
friend.

and it is enough.
there is nothing more
but a happy sleep.
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remembering how to fly

i give you
every breath
stretched
into full exhale
but still you call
and my lungs
only go so far

i know this dream
this is the one
where i want to run but
am stuck, and
maddened by memories
of how it feels
to fly

until
exhausted
i no longer try

and just say yes
and yes again
and allow
my warm breath
to freely follow
your perfect rise and fall, rise
and fall, until my small orpheus-self
dissolves

and then
i effortlessly join you
in the land of the living

oh beauty
who can i love you to
if there is no one else
where can i go
when i have nowhere
to stand

tenderly–
you tell me
i must surrender
i must endlessly explode
pulse with the flame
that lights the candle
move with the wave
that pushes the sea

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reunion

He got a hair cut.

He smells the same.

The table is huge.

The table is small.

I feel empty.

I am strong.

Lord, I don’t want to cry.

 

I could just-

reach across and take his hand.

A tiny, impossible act,

To cross a past a million miles away,

That all happened yesterday.

How strange, the choices we made.

 

I feel close.

He is so far.

I know him exactly.

I knew him exactly.

Now, I have no idea if he is okay.

I am lost in the future, long, divergent.

Nothing exists outside of this moment.

I will remember this always.

What will I recall?

 

I could change it all with one word.

A word I will never, ever say again.

Could we have predicted this?

It could never have been any other way.

And that is the truth,

Its seeds buried since that first hello.

 

Finally–

Finally.  It resolves.

There is nothing else,

But goodnight.

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